31 DAYS OF HOPE – 2017

Every day, through the month of December 2017, our
The Compassionate Friends National Director, Debbie Rambis,
is hosting conversations about Hope in Grief,
through TCF 31 Days of Hope videos, on youtube.

Each video offers the perspective of a TCF member who lives this life;
who started, as many of us start, with thinking that Hope may be impossible,
or even that Hope is a word of which we may never relate…
but, slowly, each person has come to a place of Different Living.

On these videos they share the HOWs, WHYs, WAYs of Surviving Their Grief.
They share how they are becoming or have become, Intentional Survivors, instead of Collateral Victims of their Loved One’s Death.

You are invited to post your own personal message of Hope, with a photo of your loved one, on
The Wall of Hope
https://www.compassionatefriends.org/wall-of-hope/

Check Back for Updates as New Messages of Hope are Created
TCF 31 Days of Hope 2017 (pdf Table of Links)

DAY PRESENTER LOVED ONE TCF TINY URL
1 Debbie Rambis
Director of
The Compassionate Friends
Tony’s Mom https://tinyurl.com/TCF31DaysofHope2017-1
2 Mark Rambis Tony’s Dad https://tinyurl.com/TCF31DaysofHope2017-2
3 Erica McKeel Murphy’s Mom https://tinyurl.com/TCF31DaysofHope2017-3
4 Steve Parker Alyssa’s Dad https://tinyurl.com/TCF31DaysofHope2017-4
5 Marcia Alig Daniel’s Mom https://tinyurl.com/TCF31DaysofHope2017-5
6 Jordon Ferber Russel’s Brother https://tinyurl.com/TCF31DaysofHope2017-6
7 Bob and Mary Lane Amanda’s Mom and Dad https://tinyurl.com/TCF31DaysofHope2017-7
8 Theresa Iervolino Jessica’s Mom https://tinyurl.com/TCF31DaysofHope2017-8
9 Debbie Dullabaun Little Dale’s Mom https://tinyurl.com/TCF31DaysofHope2017-9
10 Donna Flynn Rich’s Mom https://tinyurl.com/TCF31DaysofHope2017-10
11 Barbara Allen Jessica’s Mom
Jim’s Mom
John Roger’s Sister
Bill’s Sister
Tom’s Sister
Amanda’s Aunt
https://tinyurl.com/TCF31DaysofHope2017-11
12 Sue Williams Bernard’s Mom https://tinyurl.com/TCF31DaysofHope2017-12
13 French Smith Steve’s Dad https://tinyurl.com/TCF31DaysofHope2017-13
14 Roy and Barbara Davies Roy and Taylor’s Mom and Dad https://tinyurl.com/TCF31DaysofHope2017-14
15 Allie Sims Big A’s Sister https://tinyurl.com/TCF31DaysofHope2017-15
16 Patrick Malone Lance’s Dad https://tinyurl.com/TCF31DaysofHope2017-16
17 Linda Wallace

 

Michael
and Benjamin’s mom
Bereaved Gram
https://tinyurl.com/TCF31DaysofHope2017-17
18 Debbie Floyd TJ’s mom
Bobby, Michaels and Carl’s sister
https://tinyurl.com/TCF31DaysofHope2017-18
19 Art Estrella Brian’s Dad https://tinyurl.com/TCF31DaysofHope2017-19
20 Spring Texas Chapter https://tinyurl.com/TCF31DaysofHope2017-20
21 Cathy Tull Sarah’s Mom https://tinyurl.com/TCF31DaysofHope2017-21
22 Nivia Vazquez Madre de José Francisco https://tinyurl.com/TCF31DaysofHope2017-22

https://tinyurl.com/TCF31DaysofHope2017-22Spanish

23 Julie Brown Korie and Kacie’s mom to angel babies https://tinyurl.com/TCF31DaysofHope2017-23
24 Heidi Horsley Scott’s sister and Matthew’s cousin. She talks about sibling grief. https://tinyurl.com/TCF31DaysofHope2017-24
25 Bart Sumner David ‘s Dad https://tinyurl.com/TCF31DaysofHope2017-25
26 Peggy Johnson Jordan’s Mom https://tinyurl.com/TCF31DaysofHope2017-Day26
27 Mark Tull Sarah’s Step-dad https://tinyurl.com/TCF31DaysofHope2017-27
28 Susan Chan https://tinyurl.com/TCF31DaysofHope2017-28

IT ISN’T CRAZY TO MOURN THE DEATH OF A CHILD

MAKENZIE MOUSE CHOWDERPOT edge
I know a young mom and dad who carry with them a stuffed Minnie Mouse, which emotionally connects them to their deceased Baby Girl.  Sometimes they take photos of themselves with their now named “Makenzie Mouse”, as if they are taking family shots with their little girl who will never get to be in a family photo.  They have been known to put a lobster bib on Miss Mouse, symbolic of bringing their Baby Girl out to dinner with them.

People, even members of their family, think that they are CRAZY.

They aren’t Crazy, they are Just Grieving.

They know that the stuffed toy isn’t their daughter.  They know, in a hard and painful reality much too harsh for those who don’t live it to understand, that their little one is now cremains in an urn sitting in the room that was intended to be her nursery.  They know that their first born will never go on a family trip, or get to be read stories to, have a baptism, or a first birthday party…

They KNOW.

When they bring their stuffed Makenzie Mouse (a nickname for their little Baby Girl) with them places, they KNOW that it is not their living breathing Baby Girl, because she never had a chance to do either.  It doesn’t matter if there will be other children to share their lives, THIS CHILD matters, IS SPECIAL, IS IMPORTANT and will ALWAYS, ALWAYS be their child. They might carry a stuffed toy, bringing comfort to them, for as long as they want to, but they ALWAYS, and will ALWAYS, carry their deceased little girl in their hearts.

Their daughter’s body ended.
They KNOW that.|
BABY MAKENZIE MOUSE edge

But their relationship with their daughter didn’t end.
Their love for their daughter didn’t end.
Their dreams for their daughter’s should-have-been future remain in every fiber of their pores.

And this is the way it is, Every Day, for bereaved parents.

The bodies of our loved children may be lying in breathless repose on silks in a casket buried under sodden earth, or cremains worn in a pendant around our necks, and the rest of the “civilian world” may view them as Dead, Gone and No Longer, but they Remain Alive in our memories, in our dreams, in our desire and in our hearts.  They are still active parts of our conscious thoughts and decisions.  We think about them every day, just as we would if their lungs still shared the same air on earth we breathe.  It isn’t just missing them on their birth dates or their death dates or every family gathering; they are in our blood, in our love, in every thought behind the thoughts, behind our smiles and our tears; they are just as much as part of us as if they lived.

We ARE, after all, their parents for as Long as We Live,
not just as long as they did.
Makenzie mouse

 

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

If you are the parent, sibling, grandparent, friend of a deceased loved one whom you would like to remember and honor
join us for
A BIG GIANT HUG
Connecticut 3rd Annual Statewide Walk to Remember
FREE Day of Community and Caring
Sunday July 21, 2013
Center Springs Park
Manchester, CT
check-in at 11:00
Walk begins at 12:00
FREE Cookout immediately following
Register NOW
Photo T-Shirts are available to RESERVE (ORDER) NOW
Learn More
www.WalkToRememberCT.org

Walk To Remember is a beautiful statewide tribute to the memory of children taken too soon and the strength of those they leave behind.
But it’s so much more than just a shared walk.
From the pot luck picnic to the butterfly release, music to memory boards, it’s a day to celebrate the healing power of the human spirit.