ProActively Grieving Helps Heart and Mind !

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Turning Loss Into Legacy
Greetings My Compassionate Families

If you have ever felt overwhelming grief and wondered
Then Attending
is a Gentle Gift to Give Yourself

The Event is being hosted by our TCF East Of The River CT Chapter
16 February 2013
Baymont Inn and Suites
20 Taylor Street  Manchester, CT

There is a cut off day of early bird-registration by midnight February 5
to receive special fees
Full and Partial Scholarships are available

Bettie Mitch Alan

I KNOW Mitch and Alan.
They have become my friends and Mitch is actually a member of our Advisory Board ~ the only non-Connecticut person who we invited to our Board.

Each of these men are amazing in their separate workshops, but together, their energy is so strong, so powerful, so profoundly deep that you will be promised a day that will impact you in ways that you can not yet imagine.

Their friendship forged through the loss of their children, Kelly and Ashley.

Mitch is also a bereaved sibling, having experienced the death of his twin sister who left the earth in a horrific car accident.

Mitch and Alan live what they bring to their guests in the gathering.

You can trust these dads.
They “get” deep loss.
They live it…..

This event is NOT  only for those who have lost a child, grandchild or sibling, but for anyone dealing with grief and loss in life.

Bring yourself.
Bring a Friend.
But GO.

Do This for yourself.

PROActive Grieving:  A Day with Mitch and Alan is a combination of Alan’s powerful music and Mitch’s incredible art wrapped around love, laughter, healing and provocative dialogue.

Sending hugs to all,


Forever RobyApril’s Mom

ProActive Grieving~a Gift to Give Yourself ~ A DAY WITH MITCH AND ALAN

At first the word PROActive scared me.
Would being Proactive in Grief mean pushing aside the deep emotion
after the death of my beloved daughter;
to pretend to myself and the world that it never happened?

Would Being Proactive in Grief mean not allowing the sadness
that is I know is completely appropriate
when my first born is encased in a pendant around my neck;
an  urn upon a table,
instead of sitting next to me, holding my hand?

Robbie collage baby
I was not ready to give up the pain of Robyn’s loss…
and when I first heard the words
I was afraid that such a workshop was going to “push” me to disconnect from her…
to no longer feel what is natural to experience after the death of my RobynApril.

But then I attended my first
PROActive Grieving
A Day With Mitch and Alan

It wasn’t about Forgetting
or learning techniques and tools to Push Away Grief.
It was about Learning Tools To Take Love and Memories
and rebuild A Life using them as a Foundation,
As Glue;
As What Could Help to Hold Me Together,
Instead Of Tear Me Apart.

Bereaved Dads and Grief Specialists,
Mitch Carmody and Alan Pedersen
have reached inside their own souls,
after having been turning inside out after the deaths of their own beloved children,
and not only found a way TO SURVIVE, but a way to
Turn the Loss Into Legacy….
To build on the love of their children
and become
Intentional Survivors of Living
instead of Collateral victims of their deaths.

I know that this is what Robbie wants for me…
and I know that she is behind me reaching this in my own Ready Time.
Being part of my first
Day With Mitch and Alan
allowed me to store what I needed
and prepare, taking the baby steps that I was ready for,
to begin a return to living,
not only in Robbie’s honor,
but in my own.

If you have ever felt overwhelming grief and wondered
Then Give yourself A Gentle Gift.

Join our TCF East Of The River CT Chapter
February 16, 2013
as we host


Find Love
Within Yourself
Within Your Loved One
Within Life, Again.  ♥

What Is PROActive Grieving ~ A Day With Mitch And Alan

Kelly's DadRobynApril's Mom Ashley's Dad Not Just For As Long As They  Lived, But For As Long As We Do

Kelly’s Dad
RobynApril’s Mom
Ashley’s Dad
Not Just For As Long As They Lived,
But For As Long As We Do



Recently one of our siblings was approached by someone who, knowing that she is a bereaved sibling missing her big brother, informed her that it was time for her to “LET GO” .
Our sibling shared this encounter on her Facebook Wall:

“Someone just told me that I need to let my Brother go. Its funny how people who have never been through a loss like mine feel they know enough to tell me how I should feel. This person said that if they were me they would have let it go by now. Well, easy for you to say! Your sibling is still alive and well.  Gosh… I guess your just stronger then me. He’s my Brother. Death does not change that.  Death does not take away my love for my BROTHER. I will NEVER let him go. not until the day I die…”

She shared that she had been having a good day,  a good week and after this command she  cried  most of the night.  IF this “friend” was “trying to help”, it had the exact opposite effect!

Some friends may think that by telling we who are bereaved to  “let go” that they are giving us permission and encouragement to once again embrace and enjoy live.  But our interpretation  (and often their meaning) comes across more as
“Get over yourself. I am tired of hearing about it.  He’s DEAD already.  Nothing is going to bring him back, so LET HIM GO.  MOVE ON.”
Personally, my first response was that this “friend” was no friend at all and bordered on IDIOT.

But I took a deep breath and pushed away my grieving mom and bereaved sibling heart and put on my TCF Chapter Leader / Facilitator Hat.
Sometimes informing a bereaved person that they SHOULD “Let Go” of “Move on” can be received as pretty insensitive and uniformed.

Why is it that if our loved ones were still living it would be “acceptable” to talk about them, to share memories, stories, even just say their names…..
But not because they have left the earth plane?
We don’t stop loving them just because their bodies aren’t visible!

What does that even mean to that person
” let your Brother go”?
Does that mean to not talk about him?
To pretend that he didn’t exist?
To not miss him?
To not think of him or wish that he were here?
To not feel pain that you can’t hang out with him or pick up the phone and talk to him?

Why is it acceptable for people to talk about living people whom they love, but it makes so many uncomfortable when we talk about loved ones who no longer walk and talk on the plane?

At our April 2012 meeting, we’ll focus on just what those words mean to us and what we think that others are meaning when they give us this command.

One thing we DO know is that we are not going to let anyone “SHOULD ON US”